This passage from Albert Memmi gave me pause for thought today.
‘The leftist coloniser is part of the oppressing group and will be forced to share its destiny, as he shared its good fortune. If his own kind, the coloniser, should one day be chased out of the colony, the colonised would probably not make any exception for him… Colonial relations do not stem from individual good will or actions; they exist before his arrival or birth, and whether he accepts or rejects them matters little… No matter how he may reassure himself ‘I have always been this way or that with the colonised.’ He suspects, even if he is in no way guilty as an individual that he shares a collective responsibility by the fact of the membership in the national oppressor group.‘
On reading of a white man who tried to knock down a black pizza delivery man I wonder if there is really any point in returning home. I know that somehow I will never be comfortable anywhere else but perhaps ones position there will always be too fraught and compromised. I do not have the answer. What is it to feel like one belongs in a country or in a community without a sense of guilt or loathing? At times I wonder if I will ever really understand this.